Sunday, November 20, 2011
I haven't blogged in a while, but this shall be short & sweet. I feel different. Not different from when I first started photography, but different in another way. Maybe it's just the fact that I've learned who I am as a shooter. I've learned the hard way that there are some super duper cut throat photographers out there. There are also super nice, super helpful one's that have become friends and I'm ever so thankful for them. It's nice to have a community of supporters, and not haters. "A rising tide raises all ships." That basically, in a nutshell, means a community should SUPPORT their brothers and sisters.
Here's where I am today: I LOVE photography, LOVE it to pieces...but I don't see it as a "business". I've said it before and I'll say it again...I would do it for free IF possible. Is it hard work? Oh my gosh, yes...I always end up sweating like a pig EVEN in 45 degree weather and it seems to work out gas out of places I didn't know existed. I'm often reminded of marching band actually...we wore "shako's", the ugly hats that marching bands are notorious for. When I would remove mine, steam would rise. Seriously y'all...STEAM. From.my.hot.fat.head. LOL.
I live for the "moments", not so much the "photos"...but when you get a PHOTO out of a MOMENT, that's where the magical unicorns live. Seriously. I love meeting new people and spending more time with the people that I already know too. So, I see it as a very personal thing...
Every photo can't be the perfect photo and a photographer has to learn that. If you're working with children, not every shot is going to work out. So, you learn to take more photos to compensate for the booger pickin', etc. AND, it's GREAT! I love it. Working with children has become one of my favorite things.
I'm not cutthroat. I'm not. I'm not assertive, aggressive, secretive, prone to lie, or any of those other things and perhaps that makes me a bad business woman. However, if that's the case, that's the case. I do this because I LOVE it. If I ever STOP loving it, I'll know it's time to back away from the camera. BUT, because I do love it, I'm always in my head, thinking of ideas, thinking of things I can do better...thinking of equipment. Which, alas, leads me to my other brain fart.
EQUIPMENT...I had a client call me not too long ago to ask what I shot with...it's just like one of my mentors, Jasmine Star has said on not having the best camera equipment: "I can do more on my M-mode than you can do on your P-mode." MMMkay? It's all about LEARNING and ABSORBING what you can, when you can, and being honest with yourself about your style, your business, etc. I'm in the BEGINNING stages of being a photographer. Sometimes I feel my ideas far outweigh my technical skills, but then there are days when I feel that OH WOW, I JUST OWNED THAT BOKEH! (Bokeh, btw, is the pretty fuzzy stuff you can do to Christmas lights, street lights, etc).
So, I'm learning to let go of the stigma that is often associated with a photographer and BE WHO I AM, and no one else. God make me unique and I attend on doing that. I DO like different things and guess what? THAT just makes me ME! Amen? Can I get an amennnnnnnnn? I don't want what other's have...I want what I'm meant to have. To quote Jasmine, KIR! (Keep it real).